Wednesday, November 30, 2005
the search for meaning
I havent written in a long time probably because I write when I am faced with a troubling thought or something that I need to work through. Lately the issues of living in a modern world have come back wanting answers. Living in an information age and racing toward an uncertain future of technological advances without really questioning the consequences. Where are we going? and why? where am I going? and why? These thoughts overwhelm me on a daily basis. What is worth fighting for? What is worth discipline, loss of dignity, and stomaching monotany?
I dont really care what will make me happy. I dont know if anyone could ever know what would make them happy, only God. Most times i believe we are in love with ideas of things rather than the thing itself. What I care about is living a life that is worth living whether I am happy or not is not the point but I do want to be satisfied that I have done soemthing worth while and as close to truth as possible. And yes I do believ there is an absolute truth. At the end the truth is real and definite. Maybe it isnt understandable by humans in full but that will not prevent me from believing. I cannot believe that only things that humans understand at this point in history is all there is. That would be arrogant and foolish in light of historical events. Scientific DISCOVERY included. I am fearful that people put so much trust in the scientific method when at the core of this tool lies its most glaring error- namely man. It would be great if science was void or human error or bias.But obviously it is not. I remember one thing from physics classes in collage. The 2 most common reasons for lacking data- or when the experiment just didnt work like it was supposed to were friction and human error. This fact must be taken into the thought process when considering data that will take us in directions unknown. What I am basically saying is we need to remember humility which is a rare trait amoung men. Pride does come before a fall. Scientific argument sounds more like philosophy. I see great leaps from facts and data to conclusions that could be true but are not necessarily. Inductive reason is thrown out the window in favor of assumptions and a faulty deductive reason. Scientists are people and the urge to make a great discovery is a hard one to fight. I believe in science as a great tool of observation but i watch with a sceptics eye.
I dont know how I got off on that tangent though. I guess I see science as leading us in a certain direction to places we know not. I dont think I want to follow. I also dont want to be passionate about Christianity. I want to be passionate about Christ. But all that is so ethereal. I am trying to figure out what i can do in order to live everyday. You know make a living. I feel pressured to move along, get going, constantly learn new things that have huge learning curves. What is it headed towards?
The cost of living has gone through the roof. To survive I must have gas and electric, hot water, pay taxes, food, transport, cell phone(yes it is a necessity here). Its imposible to live a simple life although we do in comparison with others. We shop for bargains, dont own a car, build our own furniture, dont eat out very often( but we have to sometimes because we are far from home). Even If we succeeded in "cutting back" we would still have to put in moat of our time working. We don't believe we should spend our lives working, maintaining. We plan to fight it. We must be realistic in this modern world. Things come to mind like my family in America (we live in Tokyo japan). It costs money to travel but it's important. Is buying a house smarter than renting? we pay 1200 a month. in 5 years... you do the math.
So what can we do to supply for daily "need" (in a modern world), and living a life that matters. I dont believe in mass consumerism. I mean having to have every new gadget as soon as ot comes out, or having 100s of articles of clothing, or an oversize inefficient house. Yet I am torn because I see the value in electronics, and a house (even though apartment living is smarter for everyone), and other modern amenities.
Where am I going? if I can answer that question I can map out how to get there in a meaningful way. Some people say its about the destination and others say the journey is most important. I believe the destination and the process are inseparable. I guess I am feeling the fatigue of the constant threat of this modern age to pull the 2 apart. It is a symptom of chaos. A lack of a definative compass. I believe the only hope for myself or the world is Jesus as a compass. His strange economics and fools wisdom make sense in end. After all has been experimented and toyed with Jesus embodies meaning. The question of how to live a menaingful still lies largely unanswered and requires daily dependance and guidance from Him. In America there has been the attempt bto distinguish religeon and State. Some where in the process we have taken the content and relationship out of both.
I dont really care what will make me happy. I dont know if anyone could ever know what would make them happy, only God. Most times i believe we are in love with ideas of things rather than the thing itself. What I care about is living a life that is worth living whether I am happy or not is not the point but I do want to be satisfied that I have done soemthing worth while and as close to truth as possible. And yes I do believ there is an absolute truth. At the end the truth is real and definite. Maybe it isnt understandable by humans in full but that will not prevent me from believing. I cannot believe that only things that humans understand at this point in history is all there is. That would be arrogant and foolish in light of historical events. Scientific DISCOVERY included. I am fearful that people put so much trust in the scientific method when at the core of this tool lies its most glaring error- namely man. It would be great if science was void or human error or bias.But obviously it is not. I remember one thing from physics classes in collage. The 2 most common reasons for lacking data- or when the experiment just didnt work like it was supposed to were friction and human error. This fact must be taken into the thought process when considering data that will take us in directions unknown. What I am basically saying is we need to remember humility which is a rare trait amoung men. Pride does come before a fall. Scientific argument sounds more like philosophy. I see great leaps from facts and data to conclusions that could be true but are not necessarily. Inductive reason is thrown out the window in favor of assumptions and a faulty deductive reason. Scientists are people and the urge to make a great discovery is a hard one to fight. I believe in science as a great tool of observation but i watch with a sceptics eye.
I dont know how I got off on that tangent though. I guess I see science as leading us in a certain direction to places we know not. I dont think I want to follow. I also dont want to be passionate about Christianity. I want to be passionate about Christ. But all that is so ethereal. I am trying to figure out what i can do in order to live everyday. You know make a living. I feel pressured to move along, get going, constantly learn new things that have huge learning curves. What is it headed towards?
The cost of living has gone through the roof. To survive I must have gas and electric, hot water, pay taxes, food, transport, cell phone(yes it is a necessity here). Its imposible to live a simple life although we do in comparison with others. We shop for bargains, dont own a car, build our own furniture, dont eat out very often( but we have to sometimes because we are far from home). Even If we succeeded in "cutting back" we would still have to put in moat of our time working. We don't believe we should spend our lives working, maintaining. We plan to fight it. We must be realistic in this modern world. Things come to mind like my family in America (we live in Tokyo japan). It costs money to travel but it's important. Is buying a house smarter than renting? we pay 1200 a month. in 5 years... you do the math.
So what can we do to supply for daily "need" (in a modern world), and living a life that matters. I dont believe in mass consumerism. I mean having to have every new gadget as soon as ot comes out, or having 100s of articles of clothing, or an oversize inefficient house. Yet I am torn because I see the value in electronics, and a house (even though apartment living is smarter for everyone), and other modern amenities.
Where am I going? if I can answer that question I can map out how to get there in a meaningful way. Some people say its about the destination and others say the journey is most important. I believe the destination and the process are inseparable. I guess I am feeling the fatigue of the constant threat of this modern age to pull the 2 apart. It is a symptom of chaos. A lack of a definative compass. I believe the only hope for myself or the world is Jesus as a compass. His strange economics and fools wisdom make sense in end. After all has been experimented and toyed with Jesus embodies meaning. The question of how to live a menaingful still lies largely unanswered and requires daily dependance and guidance from Him. In America there has been the attempt bto distinguish religeon and State. Some where in the process we have taken the content and relationship out of both.