Sunday, March 02, 2008
my name is mark and i haven't posted in a long time
I don't even know why I am bothering. I guess because i was reading someone else blog and it was the same old Christian culture crap and I felt I should balance the universe. I still believe in Jesus and that there should be a Church. But I believe the Church is His People not a place to go or an activity to attend. Forcing people who don't like each other or at least who don't have much in common to meet together to sing a few tired songs and listen to a mediocre message from a person who is usually not gifted at speaking and then feel relieved because we have fulfilled our obligation is not church.
Now that I got that off my chest. My baby is almost 7 months now. I haven't been doing much lately just trying to get friends together to eat and a few odd commercials. The movie I was in last year debuted today "Ashita e no yuigon" or "Best Wishes for Tomorrow" (the English title). I played LT Corker. But really I was an extra. I was in 6 scenes but mostly you saw the back of my head. I had once scene with 2 lines. I already saw the movie last year at the Tokyo International Film festival. I can't say I was impressed. It was low budget and disjointed. The pieces didn't fit. They used a few main gaijin from Hollywood- One guy I don't remember his name but he was fairly decent with a lot of experience and Steve McQueen's son. One of his sons anyway from one of his many lovers. This guy was really bad or maybe it was the script. There were no close ups of us gaijin (foreigners) because it is a Japanese movie. That made it weird only to see the main's close up when he was speaking to me or others. There was something missing. It was like a monologue. They also cut out a few scenes I was in. The crew and director were really nice usually they treat you like shit here. The more you get paid the beter you are treated. I had 2 more war movie jobs that I turned down and one more I was an extra in just before I went back to the US over Christmas. The stories are all basically the same. The Japanese trying to say they are not bad people just a guy in a bad situation. They were just obeying orders after all. I have seen some very good Japanese films but I guess the agencies I work for don't handle these films. Commercials are the best jobs. They pay the best and they treat you better because you are getting paid more.
I have been thinking a lot about leaving Japan and going back to the US to study architecture. A pipe dream really. I dont even know if I would be happy doing it as a job. Is being happy the end goal of one's life? I guess people want to feel valued, feel like they are successful, contributing, helpful etc. But I just want to do what I am supposed to do. It just seems really purposeless living to work, especially do a job just because it pays well. That is a philosophical dilemma that is never ending.
I have also officially become tired of trying to keep ties with "old friends" and family for that matter. The effort is one sided. Yah yah everyone is busy. I just want to delete most of address book. Is that negative? tough shit! It is real. It is time to move on. It is like having a bank account that doesn't pay interest which is why I don't keep money in Japanese accounts.
I have been trying to write some fragments of songs but it is fragmented. I have not been creative in a long time but occasionally i get bits and bobs.
Maybe I will post again in 6 months
Now that I got that off my chest. My baby is almost 7 months now. I haven't been doing much lately just trying to get friends together to eat and a few odd commercials. The movie I was in last year debuted today "Ashita e no yuigon" or "Best Wishes for Tomorrow" (the English title). I played LT Corker. But really I was an extra. I was in 6 scenes but mostly you saw the back of my head. I had once scene with 2 lines. I already saw the movie last year at the Tokyo International Film festival. I can't say I was impressed. It was low budget and disjointed. The pieces didn't fit. They used a few main gaijin from Hollywood- One guy I don't remember his name but he was fairly decent with a lot of experience and Steve McQueen's son. One of his sons anyway from one of his many lovers. This guy was really bad or maybe it was the script. There were no close ups of us gaijin (foreigners) because it is a Japanese movie. That made it weird only to see the main's close up when he was speaking to me or others. There was something missing. It was like a monologue. They also cut out a few scenes I was in. The crew and director were really nice usually they treat you like shit here. The more you get paid the beter you are treated. I had 2 more war movie jobs that I turned down and one more I was an extra in just before I went back to the US over Christmas. The stories are all basically the same. The Japanese trying to say they are not bad people just a guy in a bad situation. They were just obeying orders after all. I have seen some very good Japanese films but I guess the agencies I work for don't handle these films. Commercials are the best jobs. They pay the best and they treat you better because you are getting paid more.
I have been thinking a lot about leaving Japan and going back to the US to study architecture. A pipe dream really. I dont even know if I would be happy doing it as a job. Is being happy the end goal of one's life? I guess people want to feel valued, feel like they are successful, contributing, helpful etc. But I just want to do what I am supposed to do. It just seems really purposeless living to work, especially do a job just because it pays well. That is a philosophical dilemma that is never ending.
I have also officially become tired of trying to keep ties with "old friends" and family for that matter. The effort is one sided. Yah yah everyone is busy. I just want to delete most of address book. Is that negative? tough shit! It is real. It is time to move on. It is like having a bank account that doesn't pay interest which is why I don't keep money in Japanese accounts.
I have been trying to write some fragments of songs but it is fragmented. I have not been creative in a long time but occasionally i get bits and bobs.
Maybe I will post again in 6 months
hd 12:46 AM