Sunday, February 05, 2006
Out in the open.
some observations about conversation.
my disclaimer: this is raw thoughts and unrefined and yes there is a little hurt and a little indignation, and a little relief at the end.
Subtle. something I am not often accused of being, but my wife mentioned this concept to me when attempting to translate our about us page from our website. Implication. That is i guess a word that is in a similar family. I wrote about what we do and who we for a broad range of people throughout the world who have many viewpoints. The possibility of being misunderstood is so high in the written as well as spoken word, that I was trying to be sensitive and get my point across at the same time. A very difficult task. Here in Japan the culture states that conflict of any kind is not popular. Coming from a western nation I would call it avoidance. I beleive while conflict is not comfortable or desireble, if it is there it just is and cannopt be brushed aside. It will always be there unless properly dealt with. I do believe there is no sense in stirring up desention but I also don't believe walking away and agreeing to disagree solves anything. "To each his own" is a saying that will make anyone who uses it very popular but it is only partially true. Yes everyone has a right to make a final decision about their life but those decisions affact the community as well. No man is an island. We dont live in a vacuum etc.
alot of times I like to bring issues up that I see. Things that are wrong or that could be done better. I guess if I see something and say to myself "that shouldnt be like that", I try to think how it could be put right. I realize people may not think the same and almost everybody does not. But I should be able to say it anyway. People dont like to hear bad things. Negative things. I beleive there is an emotional attachment to negative matters and people associate being unhealthy with anything negative. Negative just is. You can choose to react emotionally or not. Regardless, we all must admit they exist. So I figure what sense does it make to ignore the issue instead of trying to find a solution. Its not comfortable at all. so what? Dont rock the boat . dont make waves. Picking your battles is a good thing. Nobody likes someone who is always picking fights. But I personally dont like people who for shear(sp)personal comfort would rather smile and nod than say what they really think. Its a bad habit. I believe its about investing yourself. Everyone wants to be known and loved, not just known.
Do people say what they mean or mean what they say. Or are they simply thinking out loud? Just so you know where I stand I think its ok to think out loud. You better be able to trust the people you are with when you do it or at least simply choose to trust them and take a risk. "if you come round here talking about those things you better wear your thickest skin" words by the lead singer of Vigilantes of Love.
I believe there is too much dancing in conversation. People seem to be testing which side of the issue you stand on. Am I in an ally camp or an enemy. There seems to be so much ground to loose. Its not relaxing at all. I want conversation to be relaxing as well as challenging. I do my fair share of dancing. I am now. If you are wondering what my point is I am not sure I have one point. should I?
Did you ever shake somneone's hand and you knew they were on your side? Did you ever talk to someone and you knew they were waiting for a break to teach you something. Its not that they wanted to share and invite you in they just needed to make sure you were on the right path, their path? Maybe I am too old or stubborn, or arrogant, or prideful but I hate that type of conversation. I dont know how to respond gracefully. Seems like there are too many of those conversations lately. Sometimes I am the second guy. This is why God is so amazing. When talking with him there are no strings attached.
my disclaimer: this is raw thoughts and unrefined and yes there is a little hurt and a little indignation, and a little relief at the end.
Subtle. something I am not often accused of being, but my wife mentioned this concept to me when attempting to translate our about us page from our website. Implication. That is i guess a word that is in a similar family. I wrote about what we do and who we for a broad range of people throughout the world who have many viewpoints. The possibility of being misunderstood is so high in the written as well as spoken word, that I was trying to be sensitive and get my point across at the same time. A very difficult task. Here in Japan the culture states that conflict of any kind is not popular. Coming from a western nation I would call it avoidance. I beleive while conflict is not comfortable or desireble, if it is there it just is and cannopt be brushed aside. It will always be there unless properly dealt with. I do believe there is no sense in stirring up desention but I also don't believe walking away and agreeing to disagree solves anything. "To each his own" is a saying that will make anyone who uses it very popular but it is only partially true. Yes everyone has a right to make a final decision about their life but those decisions affact the community as well. No man is an island. We dont live in a vacuum etc.
alot of times I like to bring issues up that I see. Things that are wrong or that could be done better. I guess if I see something and say to myself "that shouldnt be like that", I try to think how it could be put right. I realize people may not think the same and almost everybody does not. But I should be able to say it anyway. People dont like to hear bad things. Negative things. I beleive there is an emotional attachment to negative matters and people associate being unhealthy with anything negative. Negative just is. You can choose to react emotionally or not. Regardless, we all must admit they exist. So I figure what sense does it make to ignore the issue instead of trying to find a solution. Its not comfortable at all. so what? Dont rock the boat . dont make waves. Picking your battles is a good thing. Nobody likes someone who is always picking fights. But I personally dont like people who for shear(sp)personal comfort would rather smile and nod than say what they really think. Its a bad habit. I believe its about investing yourself. Everyone wants to be known and loved, not just known.
Do people say what they mean or mean what they say. Or are they simply thinking out loud? Just so you know where I stand I think its ok to think out loud. You better be able to trust the people you are with when you do it or at least simply choose to trust them and take a risk. "if you come round here talking about those things you better wear your thickest skin" words by the lead singer of Vigilantes of Love.
I believe there is too much dancing in conversation. People seem to be testing which side of the issue you stand on. Am I in an ally camp or an enemy. There seems to be so much ground to loose. Its not relaxing at all. I want conversation to be relaxing as well as challenging. I do my fair share of dancing. I am now. If you are wondering what my point is I am not sure I have one point. should I?
Did you ever shake somneone's hand and you knew they were on your side? Did you ever talk to someone and you knew they were waiting for a break to teach you something. Its not that they wanted to share and invite you in they just needed to make sure you were on the right path, their path? Maybe I am too old or stubborn, or arrogant, or prideful but I hate that type of conversation. I dont know how to respond gracefully. Seems like there are too many of those conversations lately. Sometimes I am the second guy. This is why God is so amazing. When talking with him there are no strings attached.
hd 7:50 PM